When I was in junior high school, I wasn't particularly interested in science. I spent my time hanging out with guys, chasing girls, rebelling against teachers, and enjoying all the fun stuff.
However, things changed when I entered high school. A series of events led me to feel that everything of the world was silly and in vain. I decided to ignore those distractions and instead began to study hard, delving into science and philosophy books.
The more I read about science and philosophy, the more inspired I became. I was naive to all of this and tried hard to understand what it was all about, what they were discussing, and why the issues they debated were considered problems. These theories in physics and other sciences, along with philosophical debates, kept me intrigued—atoms, materialism, metaphysics, Laplace's demon, how to describe the universe, magic chalk, God, spirit... My mind became fully occupied with these topics, and I didn't care about anything else (which is probably why I became somewhat isolated from the world—a problem that persists to some extent even today).
One day (that I still remember vividly), right after I stood up from my chair in a class room, all of a sudden, I had a vivid image of fallen leaves in the woods reflecting the sunlight so brightly. I suddenly felt I understood what they were discussing. I had thought I understood what I read, logically, before. But at this moment, I felt now I knew what they were talking about. Everything was the outcome of the intricate machinery of the universe by the interactions of elements, with the intricate yet small number of fundamental principles —the dreams of the physicists so eager to make sense of the universe. I went, “Ah!”. I felt, at that moment, I understood the spirit of materialism. I realized their ambition to explain everything I see, even the fallen leaves, as the results of this hidden scheme...
This was when it was 16…
Later, I discovered the books by David Bohm, who extensively and articulately discussed causality and the fundamental limitations of it in our universe.
And he became my first science idol.
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